Skepticblog

Tis the Season...

Are you ready for the holiday season? Have you planned that big celebration for 2010? Are you up for something totally new and even a little bit bizarre for your most descriminating guests? Or are you looking to do it yourself?

Whether you are in need of a All Hallows Seance, a prediction of the future, a lecture on superstitions, a fun jinxing ceremony for your boss, the reading of palms, seeing through solid matter, a pendulum party, a pet psychic, a levitation or regurgitation, an ESP boot camp, chupacabra chili, handwriting analysis, a ghost tour, a telephone to the dead, automatic writing, a talking tea kettle, fortune cookie readings ….or even a banana reading, …look no further.

I’m here at your service.

All of the above are mysterious events and attractions anyone could probably perform for themselves after reading up a bit on the stuff I have posted here at Skepticblog for the last year. I have tried to make it easy for the skeptical mind to venture out into the woo world fully equiped to appear miraculous. Each of the subjects I have covered are ready for the enterprising host you to take a shot at.

However, if you feel a lack of courage and confidence to pull any one of them off and want to take the plunge, I’m ready to come to you: Have Seance Will Travel. Think of me as your one-stop paranormal gourmet and resource center. With all the props and endless woo ready for your most critical audience, I’m good to go.

 

Is this s shameless cry for bookings? You bet it is. The paranormal marketplace is going through a dry spell even as we speak. It appears that I might have been wrong when I predicted a few months ago that there would be a landslide of new executive psychics and woo. Maybe it’s the calm before the storm, but it looks strangely quiet on the psychic front these days. The low-rent psychics are suffering. And even some of the big gypsy schemers are down to standing in soup kitchen lines across the country.  Some (curse of all curses!) have gone so far as to even take real jobs like bartending or becoming “legit” spititual coaches. It has gotten that bad.

Why else do you think the Coffey’s and the Brownes’ out there are getting so desperate and giving their “Fairwell Tours?”  We should only be so lucky…   In Sylvia’s case, it’s more like that corner used furniture store that endlessly hangs a “Going Out of Business Sale” sign in their window. It’s just another con to make you think they are disappearing from the scene. You can sell lots more tickets if people think you are dead or dying.

Unlike times in the past when bad economies and wartime deaths brought about a windfall of golden opportunities to fleece the public, it seems like even the biggest sages, mediums and soothsayers are really hurting this season. Private readings may be up, but the corporate party circuit is definitely not up to it’s usual bombastic escapades into extravagance and poor taste. I’m beginning to miss all that free food and the annual parade of trophy wives. Even J.P. Morgan Chase Bank has had to cut back on their holiday psychic budget this year. I did some close-up magic at Eddie Murphy’s boxing party for the big match the other night and there was a conspicuous absence of psychics. This was quite unusual. I was shocked. Eddie usually stocks his soires with every concievable attraction. I have also noticed the local Malibu Shaman has had to cut back his price for a chakra cleaning to keep afloat. Hollywood just isn’t the same anymore.

I’d like to think that the skeptical movement is partially responsible for this decline. I hope I’m right. It may be a combination of economics and the present obsession with change and getting to some truth that’s making it difficult for the con artists to make the money they once made.

But never mind all that negativity. Mercury must be in retrograde or something. Plan a big bash and forget all that bad news! Change up to something besides Beany Babies on your mantle and that whacky Yule Log video loop on your television this season. Don’t be a party pooper! Get that “special something” to brighten up your holiday festivities, trim your downmarket  mood and put some high gloss mystery on your holiday cheer!

That’s what I do.

Cheers