Secretly I’ve been holding a public grammar contest, open to anyone who sends me an email. Today, the winner is announced: Mr. Daren Lee of “The Zeitgeist Movement”. Initially, as his writing suggests that Mr. Lee has only a fifth grade education, I was going to disqualify him (must be 18 or older to enter). But the email headers suggest that he may actually be able to hold down a job, and so his entry is accepted and I’m proud to honor him today:
From: Daren Lee <email@example.com>
Subject: Dragons or Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing
Date: October 25, 2009 3:42:18 PM PDT
Received: from email.whitearrow.com (mail.whitearrow.COM [126.96.36.199])
Received: from vm01.wa.ad ([10.21.83.2]) by vm01.wa.ad ([10.21.83.2]) with mapi; Sun, 25 Oct 2009 15:42:18 -0700
Brian, I have seen your video “Here be Dragons” and wow its hilarious. Starts very innocent and common sense like, then takes a deceptive plunge that instinctively makes your palm and face meet. Hitler claims the best lies need a little truth, in your case – common since.
This video, by its definition, is propagandist martial and that is an observable fact. It is evident that you are a person with malicious intent towards society and professor of ignorance. I hope you get run over by a truck carrying copies of the US constitution, wouldn’t that be ironic. But don’t worry Brian, luckily for you we all have the right to live even if were complete fucking douche bags. Just please don’t have kids, we have enough confused, delusional, self righteous earth leeches on this planet.
Daren R. Lee
The Zeitgeist Movement
But I’m not half as proud as must be “The Zeitgeist Movement”, who are fortunate to have such an insightful and articulate public representative. He manages to artfully limit the number of Hitler references to just one, and raises malapropism to new heights of dual meaning. So congratulations, Mr. Lee. You can pick up your prize from the officer just offstage.
This award is apropos, inasmuch as Zeitgeist (an amazingly paranoid conspiracy theory documentary made for the Internet) helped to inspire Here Be Dragons (my own Internet documentary made to help people see through such nonsense). It’s nice to be able to give something back.