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Chupacabra Tacos

by Mark Edward, Mar 07 2009

0901chupa11Next week I will be attending the Chupacabra Cruise to Mexico with the JREF. If I vanish from the face of the earth, trust that it will be only a brief respite from this blog and that I will remain in service to skeptics worldwide, hot on the trail of the fabled beast. In the absence of Big Foot and other high mountain beings, Mexico is full of tales of mysterious blood sucking animals that have been spotted, found rotting or caught on camera. BTW: It’s only goat blood they suck, so any vampire fantasies will have to be left behind in Hollywood.

A formal “summoning” of the Chupacabras is planned utilizing forbidden techniques handed down to me by the legendary Masklyn Ye Mage, (a.k.a. T. Andruzzi) master of the Black Arts, supreme necromancer and host to the much lamented Invocationals of early 70’s infamy. This ritual will include but not be limited to; spell casting, transubstantiations, transmogrifications, manifestations …and a few cheap tricks.

And yes, for the skeptics in attendance: a full disclaimer will be given.

chupaprint

I promise not to invoke anything larger than my head and will endeavor to bring back a specimen of The Beast in a dead or alive condition, depending on the circumstances and customs protocol. I’m looking forward to this adventure as I have heard that after immolation, they are quite crunchy and good with ketchup. Chupacabra Chili anyone? Mmmmmm, Yum. Full report to follow if and when I return.

pot1

20 Responses to “Chupacabra Tacos”

  1. Brian says:

    spell casting, transubstantiations, transmogrifications, manifestations …and a few cheap tricks.

    Aren’t those all, like, the same thing?

  2. MadScientist says:

    After all, ‘chupa cabra’ means ‘goat sucker’. I’d be worried about the ‘chupa gringo’.

  3. FreemanAMG says:

    Actually, there is a place named “Chupacabras”, south of Mexico City, near Coyoacan. They have one of the most famous tacos in town. (of course, they are made with beef and pork, not with some mystical crature) I know because I use to eat there :-P

  4. Ranson says:

    “I promise not to invoke anything larger than my head…”

    I saw something similar to that on a gaming t-shirt once.

  5. Richard Smith says:

    Watch out for foxes with mange!

  6. Diane says:

    If you’re going to transmorgrify make sure your cardboard box is big enough, the dials are painted on correctly, and if you transmorgrify a tiger bring along a lot of tuna sandwiches. They’re suckers for tuna sandwiches.

  7. I went out with a chupacabra once. She sucked the life and finances out of me.

    I hope one of these Chupacabra experts can present something that doesn’t look like a rabid chihuahua, but I assume they will simply follow in the footsteps of the Big Foot hunters who never seem to bring anything to light apart from men in gorilla suits.

  8. With all your debunking experience have you ever considered debunking the disingenuous Randi million dollar challenge ? How it is just a publicity stunt and the offer is worded in such a way no one could ever win it ? ….. Another debunking you might consider is the unwritten law amongst professional pseudo skeptics is to never critically question the motives of Randi or any other professional pseudo skeptic.

  9. Bill says:

    Carlos –
    “…the offer is worded in such a way no one could ever win it”?

    Got a specific example of this that you’d care to share with the class?

  10. You wouldn’t believe me anyway, but Mark knows what I say is true. … Carlos

  11. Ian M says:

    We don’t have to take your word on faith Carlos… you could provide an example with some links to evidence. Heh, maybe your confusion on ‘evidence’ is why you think its unfairly worded?

  12. C’mon, you don’t really want to insult my intelligence with this sort of dialogue. It is common knowledge that Randi is a liar. Surely you have read on the internet an account by one of the founders of CSICOP titled sTARBABY by Rawlins, where he asks Randi if he is ever concerned that he would have to pay off on his challenge and Randi replies “No, because I always have a way out” And that was way back in 1980 after the fraud Randi and CSICOP conspired in to debunk the Gauquelin astrology research and instead validated the findings, much to their chagrin. Also a recent applicant has made a ten thousand dollar to Randi if he can not prove Randi is a liar when he rejected this fellow that he will give Randi the ten grand. Randi has been running from that embarrassment for three years now. Mark is well aware of the many scandals and lies of Randi, and if you are not then you should hide your head in shame, because your ignorance is showing.

  13. Mark Edward says:

    Okay. So do we all know who “Carlos Caliente” is? If not, I will clear the air, at least on my side of the street. Yes, I recieved a DVD given to me by Bill Peron; a fortune teller I have known and worked with in Hollywood for mnay years through The Magic Castle and various other booking agents we both share. This is no way endears me to him or shows any affiliation with his rants and attacks on Randi. Using me as a dupe to imply that I’m on the same page as his prolonged outbursts of bitter harangue is absurd – so don’t let him persuade you that I’m “aware” of any conpiracy or associations with his claims. I found his DVD denunciations of Randi and his own “$10,000 challenge” he has purported to be offering in reply to Randi totally without merit and nothing short of a callow set of ad hominem personal attacks against Randi.It made little sesne to me when I watched it and I dropped it into the trash bin shortly after watching it. It’s an embarrassing piece of bad theater. Sorry Bill. I had hoped we could remain friends in some form, but dragging me into your game and painting me as on your team in your weak endeavor won’t work. Perhaps instead of hiding behind your “Carlos” alias, you would enlighten all of us with what exactly you are offering in exchange for your “$10,000 challenge”? I never got that. Show us where the money is stashed away and what we/I have to do to get it, get a Notarized statement to me and let’s see you put up or shut up. I certainly could use the money. If this is only a personal thing between you and Randi, keep it there and not a part of this blog. I’m sure most of us have better things to do than read about your angst.

  14. WOW Mark you certainly have jumped to some very wrong conclusions. The Carlos Caliente name is actually a performing character that I use, you certainly know that because you went to my web site. You have also chosen to ignore the dicussion we had on more than one occasion about the agenda of Shermer, how he uses people to further his own purposes, and how you told me you and Bob Cassidy read the rules for the Randi challenge and you came to the conclusion that it was nothing more than a publicity stunt and worded so that no one could win. You are the one who labeled Randi “The Annoying Randi” As for the Honsty Challenge it is quite simple if I can prove Randi lied when he weaseled out of my challenge I win your ten grand, if I can’t you win the money. By the way, remember you are the one who suggested I take the Randi challenge. Sorry if I embarrased you with the truth in front of your devotees. On a more personal note I am sure we will eventually get booked on a job together again telling fortunes I am professional enough not to let this bother me, but it does hurt my feelings that you threw my DVD away….. Bill

  15. Oh, and one more thing, Randi is the master of the ad hominem, do any of the professional pseudo skeptics say a word about that ? Hmmmm why does the word hypocrisy fit so well ?

  16. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  17. What is really fascinating about this little band of septics is not one of them has had the guts to actually look at the evidence of the Randi lies. The obvious reason is because they know and fear what I say is true and they know it would harm their movement. The critical thinking advocates fear the truth, isn’t that strangely hypocritical and downright cowardly. Mark likes to play the role of the know it all expert who crosses the boundaries of the shadowy psychic world and the enlightened septic world, but the truth is he really lives in neither, most readers think he is a joke, and the septics only want to use what little knowledge he has for their own smarmy agendas, and psychic Mark is so aware he can’t see it. He craves recognition so much that he will sell out his soul if necessary just to get a hint of a promise that his sick empty need will be satisfied. What step is covered by your sick need for attention Mark, I ask this question as a guy who has been a friend of Bill W. since he was 25, you didn’t know that did you!!! I will not be coming back to this post again my work is done here.

  18. She-Devnath says:

    “What is really fascinating about this little band of septics is not one of them has had the guts to actually look at the evidence of the Randi lies. The obvious reason is because they know and fear what I say is true and they know it would harm their movement. The critical thinking advocates fear the truth, isn’t that strangely hypocritical and downright cowardly.”

    What a strange little man. Have any of you noticed how ridiculously often scientists and skeptics are charged with being close-minded and unwilling to look at other people’s ideas? few accusations are better evidence of a person’s lost grasp on reality. Looking stuff up is the whole point. It’s almost a sickness! Learning new things, finding new sources of information, growing the database of facts, fact-checking, it’s the humming engine of the skeptic mind. The claim of fearing the truth is on par with accusing religious zealot of being too damn open-minded. It would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.

    (The misspelling of skeptic…that was pretty funny.)

  19. Mr.Al'frito says:

    WHY WOULD SOMEONE MAKE A TACO OUT OF THE CHUPACABRA!!!?

  20. Carlos Caliente says:

    Well here I am in July of 2013 and taking a look back from six years later. Randi has come out of the closet and has admitted what any intelligent normal guy would have already known, that Randi was an unmanly homosexual, he/she is catty and vengeful in a very female way, lies easily too, and will take money from anyone just like any common whore. Mark has vented his angst in a book, when I heard him touting it on Coast2coast radio I chuckled, not because I find Mark funny, (likable, but not funny) but because I find it interesting he chose to vent his spleen about me commenting on what delusional perception he has of my angst about Randi and his lies, while he writes a whole damn book about his angst, now, I ask, who really has the angst problem?